Second Week In KMM
My second week in Matric was horrible. I had a very terrible homesickness even though I only lived 15 minutes away from my home. I cried to sleep for a couple of days because I really couldn't see myself in the future anymore. I felt like I was a small speck of dust in the middle of dusty room. I felt insignificant and even if I did something to make a difference, my effort won't be recognize. I felt like I didn't mean anything to the world and I am not as important as I thought I am to the world.
For all these times, I always think that a person is always created to do something to give an impact to the world, bad or good. In my case, I didn't feel like I could do either. I felt horrible about myself. Oh well, it just proved to me that my depression isn't caused by my family. It is because of myself. I had no one to put the blame on this time. It was all me.
For all it worth, my mum reminded me that I need to think positive. Hell, I almost cried myself when I tried to explain to her about my homesickness. At one point, I really didn't think I could go through with the study. My mind started to consider silly stuffs and it was bad. It was really bad. Right now, I just hope that this sickness would only last for awhile, that it is a temporary symptom.
Anyhow, I have tons of assignments and homeworks. Hell, I thought that I passed that stage of doing homework in my life. I plan to do them tomorrow. Tonight, I wanna finish Disastrous novel by E.L. Montes. FYI, yesterday I read the fourth book of Until series by Aurora Rose Reynolds, Until Nico. YAY!!! OMG, I really love Aurora's works. Her works reminded me of Kristen Ashley's old works so much. I love that the Mayson's brothers are all baby-making crazy maniac. I mean like, their wives were like a freaking baby-making factory. There were dozens and dozens of children running around in the book. May, June, July, Hanna and (dammit) I can't remember the rest.
That is all for now. If I have the chance, I maybe would write another post tomorrow. We'll see. Plus, I would bring my laptop to the Matric tomorrow. So, maybe you'll see more frequently after this. Frequent as in three or two posts a week. Oh and, I promise to myself that I would at least read a book every one week because truth-to-be-told, I miss reading book. It's like air to my lungs. The key to my chain. It is my sweet haven.
So long now, see ya later, kay? Bye.
P.S. Tonight is the last night I sleep in this house of mine for a long time. My next holiday for Matric is at the end of July. Almost two months from now. I will miss the comfort of home so much. :(
For all these times, I always think that a person is always created to do something to give an impact to the world, bad or good. In my case, I didn't feel like I could do either. I felt horrible about myself. Oh well, it just proved to me that my depression isn't caused by my family. It is because of myself. I had no one to put the blame on this time. It was all me.
For all it worth, my mum reminded me that I need to think positive. Hell, I almost cried myself when I tried to explain to her about my homesickness. At one point, I really didn't think I could go through with the study. My mind started to consider silly stuffs and it was bad. It was really bad. Right now, I just hope that this sickness would only last for awhile, that it is a temporary symptom.
Anyhow, I have tons of assignments and homeworks. Hell, I thought that I passed that stage of doing homework in my life. I plan to do them tomorrow. Tonight, I wanna finish Disastrous novel by E.L. Montes. FYI, yesterday I read the fourth book of Until series by Aurora Rose Reynolds, Until Nico. YAY!!! OMG, I really love Aurora's works. Her works reminded me of Kristen Ashley's old works so much. I love that the Mayson's brothers are all baby-making crazy maniac. I mean like, their wives were like a freaking baby-making factory. There were dozens and dozens of children running around in the book. May, June, July, Hanna and (dammit) I can't remember the rest.
That is all for now. If I have the chance, I maybe would write another post tomorrow. We'll see. Plus, I would bring my laptop to the Matric tomorrow. So, maybe you'll see more frequently after this. Frequent as in three or two posts a week. Oh and, I promise to myself that I would at least read a book every one week because truth-to-be-told, I miss reading book. It's like air to my lungs. The key to my chain. It is my sweet haven.
So long now, see ya later, kay? Bye.
Homesick Girl,
Liely
P.S. Tonight is the last night I sleep in this house of mine for a long time. My next holiday for Matric is at the end of July. Almost two months from now. I will miss the comfort of home so much. :(
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