Liely's Guilty Pleasures

I finally did it. Year and years taunting myself for not doing it properly. I did it. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt too much. Now, I did it. Twice. I told myself. Don't think and just do it. I'm afraid, I would be addicted to it now since I've finally crossed over that threshold. I'm sorry.

There is a thin line between life and death. I've always thought to myself. Just one more day. Just one more week. Just one more thing. There is always an expiration date I gave to myself. Maybe it is to show that I didn't really want to end it. That I want to hope that before tomorrow, before next week, before that one more thing I need to do, someone would save me. Someone could pull me out of this nightmare. Hope is a very dangerous thing, isn't it? It could overturn a kingdom. It could save lives. But what if that someone didn't want to be saved? What if that someone is beyond salvage?

My beast, that is. She is stronger than me. Kinder than me. Reminding me that my life is worth living. I thank her a lot for her companionship. She was the one who wiped my tears when I cried, consoled me when I'm sad, scolded me when I did something horrible to myself. I love my beast so much. She saved me a lot. More than anyone knows.           If she was sitting next to me, she would give me that billion dollars smile, smirking at me, noting my cheesiness as I write these words out. She would tease me, complaining why I have to write these down when I could easily just talk to her. But deep down I know that she is happy that I decided to write about her. Hence, the obvious change in my blog's name. I want to be just like her one day. Hence.           Do you have a beast like I did?        

Hi guys. My dear dear diary.             It's been too long since our last communications. Despite all the rough patches, I am still alive. The world is kind to me, I think. I haven't written down my thoughts for awhile now. I am barely holding them in as I wrote these words.            The objective of this post is to tell you what happened in my life for the past year and a half. Remember in my earlier posts, that I mentioned I have never been in other states other than Johor, Malacca, Negeri Sembilan, Selangor and Kuala Lumpur? Now, I have to update on that list. Due to an extracurricular program in my university, I have now visited almost all the states in Malaysia other than Perlis, Sabah & Sarawak. I have grown a lot, mentally and physically during my absence in the past year due to this program. The program, which I shall not be named, taught me a lot of stuffs, stuffs that you cannot get in the class. Soft ski...

I seriously can't believe that it's 2017 already.             OMG, I'm about to be 21! The happy news is I am finally okay. I am not so suicidal anymore (though there were times when I got the flash) but other than that, I am okay.            Nowadays I am more active in my Goodreads account. I don't blog anymore, unfortunately. But sometimes I come here and read my stupids posts from years and years ago. So, yeah. There is not much I could say, as I'm having my final EB paper tomorrow. I am the biggest procrastinator ever. So, yeah. I am expecting to flop again this semester.            How about, I'll write again after my post. Later in the evening. Truth to be told, I have tones of stories to tell you guys. A year worth of stories. Love, Liely.