The One I Love & The One I Don't Want To Let Go

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Hey there guys.

           I know that it has been quite a time since I last posted in here. These days, I’ve been in war with myself. I don’t get it. I was trying as hard as I could. But I couldn’t keep on this façade anymore. One day or any day, I know that this mask will break and by that time, everything will reveal itself… and I will be the most hideous person of all. They will hate me. They will pity me. And I can’t accept that.

            Sometimes I feel as if I’m drowning and there’s nothing I could do. My soul is tearing up to two parts. The one that I love and the one that I don’t want to let go. The latter was a part me since forever. It has helped me when I needed it. It made me happy but it was not right for me. How can I have both of them without it destroying me in the process? I’m already at my wits end here. I want to keep both of them but I can’t. I have to choose and unfortunately the one I don’t want to let go, I have to let go eventually though it will break my heart so much. 

            Sorry for being so cryptic here but it is the struggle that I’m facing currently. I don’t want to let go. That is all for today post. I will update later more about my life now. Farewell now, guys.

Liely.

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