I Don't Like My Mind Right Now...

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Hi guys. It's been a long time I guess. I'm still battling my depression and self harm sadly... With the current passing of Chester Bennington, the lead singer in LP, the thought of suicide is always there whenever I heard his songs. I can't shake it off. The worst is that, I'm addicted to this thought. In my sad pathetic mind, I can no longer see a way out. For me, death is all that is. The solution where I will never feel pain or lonely or anger anymore. I just want to stop feeling things. Things that confused the hell of me. I want it to stop so badly. I hate being alone with my mind. She whispers bad things to me. Sometimes thoughts that had nothing to do with me resurface. All my guilts, my mistakes, my experiences... I feel like I'm reliving them in full HD and then they got scrutinized so hard, I hate to just stand up in the morning. My mind is a hell for me and I don't know how to fix it. I don't think the counsellor thing work or maybe it was me who couldn't reaach out enough

Help me. Someone. Anyone. Is what I should say, shouldn't I? To the world.

Why can't I just die already? I have it enough with this body and mind. I want to be anywhere else but here.

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