Unstable

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I'm scared. All I could think of right now is the razor hiding in my drawer.

           I need a distraction, I know.  But all I could think of is bad thoughts. Taking from the context of my recent novel,

I was battered by them
Suffocated by them
Crushed under their weight
And simply too many of them for me to handle. 

           I couldn't isolate any one thought, any issue. I'm scared that I picked up my bad habit again. I want to retreat to the shower and clean all the filth on me... and hurt myself. I deserve this.

Worthless piece of shit that I am.

I need a release.

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