I'm Still Not Okay
Hello. Quickly back to what the title says. I still wake up feeling like shit today. I tried to be super communicative in class. A friend tried to start up a conversation with me a couple of times but I brushed it off but then I immediately felt sorry for her. I ended talking to her, though half-heartedly. During the whole economic engineering class, all I could think is about slitting my wrist open. Just to get all the pressure out.
I feel so dirty and disgusted. FYI, I am in the middle of reading Thirteen Reasons Why right now and I kept thinking what a vindictive bitch Hannah Baker is. I feel like she was seeking attention even from her grave. She did have her bad side of life thrown to her, but it does not portrayed what mental illness or suicidal thoughts in my attention. All she wanted to have was, the final say in life. Just to get back to people who done her wronged. The true depravity of mental illness is when you blamed everything on yourself and there is no one to blame but yourself. Hannah forgot one other name inside those tapes. Hers.
I'm also sorry if my opinion somehow insult and contradicting yours, but it is my opinion.
I also hate that she decided to kill herself in her own house. Why? Why would you let your family see you, breathless and cold and dead, there? No matter how I sometimes detest and dislike my family, I would never let anyone see my dead body. Never would I let them see me in blood. I wouldn't want that even to the person I hated the most. It's too intimate for me.
I carry my razor everywhere now. I fear the time I left it home, like yesterday.
I feel so dirty and disgusted. FYI, I am in the middle of reading Thirteen Reasons Why right now and I kept thinking what a vindictive bitch Hannah Baker is. I feel like she was seeking attention even from her grave. She did have her bad side of life thrown to her, but it does not portrayed what mental illness or suicidal thoughts in my attention. All she wanted to have was, the final say in life. Just to get back to people who done her wronged. The true depravity of mental illness is when you blamed everything on yourself and there is no one to blame but yourself. Hannah forgot one other name inside those tapes. Hers.
I'm also sorry if my opinion somehow insult and contradicting yours, but it is my opinion.
I also hate that she decided to kill herself in her own house. Why? Why would you let your family see you, breathless and cold and dead, there? No matter how I sometimes detest and dislike my family, I would never let anyone see my dead body. Never would I let them see me in blood. I wouldn't want that even to the person I hated the most. It's too intimate for me.
I carry my razor everywhere now. I fear the time I left it home, like yesterday.
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