Myself: Having Many Children?
Hi, I'm back. I think 2019 would be the year I will write more. After June, I'll be an official graduate, so probably I'm gonna have a lot of time in my hand. I'm scared at the prospect of having to go to work now.
Anyway, I want to talk about kids. Do you guys want to have many kids? Or just one? Or two of each? I have met some people who don't want to have many kids because they scared that they will not be able to love all of them equally. For myself, I would want as many kids as I want. Growing up with two brothers and a sister, I still feel like having 4 kids are not enough if that makes any sense. If possible, I want more than 4 kids. Maybe 6?
Here's why. My sister is 16 years older than me. When I was growing up, she was already married and living away from home (she got married when she was 19). My older brother is 10 years older than me. When I was growing up, he was a jerk of a teen. OMG. You have no idea what a horrible guy he was when I was growing up. So, I only have a younger brother who is a year younger than me when we were growing up. I was close to him but growing up as brother-sister siblings, we grew apart and then I went to college and we grew farther. I felt as if I have no close siblings now. Of course, after all the shitshows we had growing up & my rebellious years (I was a sucky teen too), we're okay now but I still want more.
Hence, if I could I want to have as many as kids I can. Nevermind that I get married or not (I don't think getting married is now a priority), I want to have many kids and I'll adopt if I could.
My sister, she got married when she was 19 with a guy 7 years older than her. Later she got a son at 20. So yeah, the age difference between my nephew and I is 4 years. I don't know how many years after that, she divorced him. I remembered she ran home to us with a blackeye and busted lips with her son and cried to my mother. I don't understand much at that time, I was probably 5 or 6 years old. Not long after that, she got divorced. So yeah, that solidified my perspective on men. She did later get married again to a guy she met at work (she was a receptionist at a golf club and he was a mechanic there) and now they have 3 kids together.
My brother, the older one, he was a jerk to me growing up. The one word I can describe him is unstable. He was unstable AF. I still remember one night he threatened my mother with a knife because she was scolding him for something. I remember my younger brother and I curling and hugging my mother closer because I was so scared he would harm her. It shook me till this day. Of course, he changed now and better but still, he did something I would never forgive. I was also a rumbunctious kid when I was younger, so I was a punching bag for him. The bruises he gave me were also a part of which I find hard to forgive. Now that he has a kid, I wonder what he would think if someone puts a bruise on him in rage because he is very protective of him. I just wonder if he regrets it.
Anyhow, that is not why I write this post. Just want to get something out of my chest I guess. That is all, gotta go!
Anyway, I want to talk about kids. Do you guys want to have many kids? Or just one? Or two of each? I have met some people who don't want to have many kids because they scared that they will not be able to love all of them equally. For myself, I would want as many kids as I want. Growing up with two brothers and a sister, I still feel like having 4 kids are not enough if that makes any sense. If possible, I want more than 4 kids. Maybe 6?
Here's why. My sister is 16 years older than me. When I was growing up, she was already married and living away from home (she got married when she was 19). My older brother is 10 years older than me. When I was growing up, he was a jerk of a teen. OMG. You have no idea what a horrible guy he was when I was growing up. So, I only have a younger brother who is a year younger than me when we were growing up. I was close to him but growing up as brother-sister siblings, we grew apart and then I went to college and we grew farther. I felt as if I have no close siblings now. Of course, after all the shitshows we had growing up & my rebellious years (I was a sucky teen too), we're okay now but I still want more.
Hence, if I could I want to have as many as kids I can. Nevermind that I get married or not (I don't think getting married is now a priority), I want to have many kids and I'll adopt if I could.
My sister, she got married when she was 19 with a guy 7 years older than her. Later she got a son at 20. So yeah, the age difference between my nephew and I is 4 years. I don't know how many years after that, she divorced him. I remembered she ran home to us with a blackeye and busted lips with her son and cried to my mother. I don't understand much at that time, I was probably 5 or 6 years old. Not long after that, she got divorced. So yeah, that solidified my perspective on men. She did later get married again to a guy she met at work (she was a receptionist at a golf club and he was a mechanic there) and now they have 3 kids together.
My brother, the older one, he was a jerk to me growing up. The one word I can describe him is unstable. He was unstable AF. I still remember one night he threatened my mother with a knife because she was scolding him for something. I remember my younger brother and I curling and hugging my mother closer because I was so scared he would harm her. It shook me till this day. Of course, he changed now and better but still, he did something I would never forgive. I was also a rumbunctious kid when I was younger, so I was a punching bag for him. The bruises he gave me were also a part of which I find hard to forgive. Now that he has a kid, I wonder what he would think if someone puts a bruise on him in rage because he is very protective of him. I just wonder if he regrets it.
Anyhow, that is not why I write this post. Just want to get something out of my chest I guess. That is all, gotta go!
L.
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