The Sad Story About My Ring
Hi. I'm back.With a story.
Last year, in the end of August and early September, I was dealing with some heavy shit. I made a deal with myself you see, before the start of my semester. I was prepared to end it. Last letter written in my diary. I spent a whole day sight seeing with my niece. Wrote down every usernames and passwords and PIN numbers to every account I had. I put it in my mum's purse. Told her it was an important paper, don't lose it. (She can't read, so she didn't ask much, maybe thought it was some menial things.)
The point of things are I was prepared to leave. I'd planned it. My family usually didn't disturb me when I was alone in my room, door locked (unless if there was food or bladder needed emptying, I rarely got out from my room). They don't ask. I could spent 24 hours in my room and no one will come in to check me. I had the opportunity that I had.
One of the last things that I needed to do before I leave was to get a ring. You see, I had no jewelry at all. No gold ring, either gold necklace. Since my time was coming nearer, I knew my ring finger will never be occupied. I was going to die and never would feel the presence of a ring bounded to my ring finger. So, with money that I earned working at my family's food court diner, I bought a cheap, uninteresting, gold ring. I'm still wearing it now as I type these words. It meant the world to me. It was a reminder. A reminder of what I was going to do to myself before the beginning of my semester.
Obviously, I didn't go through with my plan. Something still tied me down to this world. But the ring still belongs on my finger. The only time I removed it was when I had skin problems a few months ago. But yeah. It's still there. A reminder of a plan that fails.
It saddens me every time I remember why I bought the ring. My friends assumed it was an engagement ring (HAHAHA, I had a scandal last year. A stupid ass scandal with someone I'm conflicted about) but nahh... If they only knew the story behind the ring.
Anyhow, that is all. Maybe, just maybe I would write a post about my scandal, but I'm not gonna yet. Tata.
Last year, in the end of August and early September, I was dealing with some heavy shit. I made a deal with myself you see, before the start of my semester. I was prepared to end it. Last letter written in my diary. I spent a whole day sight seeing with my niece. Wrote down every usernames and passwords and PIN numbers to every account I had. I put it in my mum's purse. Told her it was an important paper, don't lose it. (She can't read, so she didn't ask much, maybe thought it was some menial things.)
The point of things are I was prepared to leave. I'd planned it. My family usually didn't disturb me when I was alone in my room, door locked (unless if there was food or bladder needed emptying, I rarely got out from my room). They don't ask. I could spent 24 hours in my room and no one will come in to check me. I had the opportunity that I had.
One of the last things that I needed to do before I leave was to get a ring. You see, I had no jewelry at all. No gold ring, either gold necklace. Since my time was coming nearer, I knew my ring finger will never be occupied. I was going to die and never would feel the presence of a ring bounded to my ring finger. So, with money that I earned working at my family's food court diner, I bought a cheap, uninteresting, gold ring. I'm still wearing it now as I type these words. It meant the world to me. It was a reminder. A reminder of what I was going to do to myself before the beginning of my semester.
Obviously, I didn't go through with my plan. Something still tied me down to this world. But the ring still belongs on my finger. The only time I removed it was when I had skin problems a few months ago. But yeah. It's still there. A reminder of a plan that fails.
It saddens me every time I remember why I bought the ring. My friends assumed it was an engagement ring (HAHAHA, I had a scandal last year. A stupid ass scandal with someone I'm conflicted about) but nahh... If they only knew the story behind the ring.
Anyhow, that is all. Maybe, just maybe I would write a post about my scandal, but I'm not gonna yet. Tata.
L.
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