Drama, Perfect, Marry?
Hello there... Starting from today I am officially release from this year syllabus. Yay!! It is such a relief after I returned all the textbooks. So, tomorrow I won't come to school! Even though we had Physics class tomorrow, it's such a burden to come to school because of the drama that our class would present tomorrow.
The title of the drama is Gulp and Gasp. This drama is in our syllabus for Form 4 poem's book. Sheggy was the one to be the narrator in this drama but today she didn't come and I was reprimanded by the great, Teacher Rosmi to become the narrator. The idea of being a replacement and the second choice is not really my thing but I had to do it. Talking in front of people is not my specialty. In fact, I am the worst person to talk in front of others. I will always stutter and misspeak. I thought I was a good person to talk with a microphone but I wasn't and that sudden realization is painful enough to my subconscious mind. Later, I ran away from the microphone stand and entered the audio room behind stage in my school hall. I was totally mad at myself. How can a student like me get stage fright even though I was already exposed to many things? I look at others and I realize that I am not perfect in that area. I don't want to admit it at first but I am not perfect.
Talking about perfect, I wonder is there anybody in this world is perfect. Well, I used to hear those motivation words that everybody is not perfect. That is true but I think that there are people who satisfied with their life in all ways. When people get that feeling, I think that their life is 80% perfect. Besides that, I also think that when we accept our imperfection, that person will become perfect. Bottom line is I think there are people in this life perfect, in many ways of course. So, what that makes me? I believe that I have a lot more weakness that I need to overcome or at least, improve it to a better point and one of it is my stage fright. I want to study until the higher level and I believe that the confidence to talk in front of others is essential for that.
Marry? That is a very interesting subject to talk about. Today, a friend of mine, Firdaus, asked me whether I would like to marry someone one day. My answer was no. He asked me, why. I told him that marriage is not my thing and I'm not ready to talk or even think about getting marry to anyone at my current age. Firdaus replied by saying that I have to think about marriage now because when I grow up, I won't think about marriage anymore. I was freaking puzzled by his words. Why I do need to marry someone? In fact, what is the purpose of getting married anyway? From Firdaus's meaning of marriage is to get children to support you when you're old. Is that it? Well, I believe that Firdaus means more than that but really, is that it? Marriage for me is a sacred thing. I don't want to ruin the concept of marriage in my head which is to live with the person you love for the entire of your life in a concrete bond and create a lot of memories together. If I can, I want to marry to only one guy in my entire life and love him forever. That is why I am very careful about the idea of getting married. One tiny mistake in choosing your life partner can give a big impact in how you use to live. Seeing all the real marriage around me sometimes can scare me like hell. My sister had divorced once because she married at a very young age, 19 to be exact. My father used to cheat towards my mum while he's still married to her. My cousin's long waited husband died after only a few years married to her because of diabetes. My uncle married another woman with 5 kids even though he's married to my aunt and has 3 kids. My brother toyed with my ideal marriage and brought home a big-ass girl as my sister in-law and always be inside the same room, with the door closed with God-knows-what they did. These all assure to me that marriage is something that I need to put behind me first. I don't want to bother myself with something that can be avoided in the first place Even if I want to get married, I would like to pick the best Muslim as a husband because you have to admit that a good Muslim is so hard to find in this world. Plus, I am not a very good Muslim at first. Therefore I would like to find a guy that can teach me about Islam more. The more I think this way, the more I feel that this ideal guy of mine is impossible to find. I don't care about the appearance or the wealth that he owns but what I care more is the faith that he has to ALLAH. That is all I want. Someone to guide me as a good husband. Nothing more, nothing less. That is also why I stopped thinking about getting marry to someone. I don't want to get my hope so high and get crushed by my own ideal at the end of the day. To sum it all, NO, I don't want to get married YET. I don't know whether I will marry someone or not but surely it is not in the nearest future.
PS. It's time for a change. (I think) : P
The title of the drama is Gulp and Gasp. This drama is in our syllabus for Form 4 poem's book. Sheggy was the one to be the narrator in this drama but today she didn't come and I was reprimanded by the great, Teacher Rosmi to become the narrator. The idea of being a replacement and the second choice is not really my thing but I had to do it. Talking in front of people is not my specialty. In fact, I am the worst person to talk in front of others. I will always stutter and misspeak. I thought I was a good person to talk with a microphone but I wasn't and that sudden realization is painful enough to my subconscious mind. Later, I ran away from the microphone stand and entered the audio room behind stage in my school hall. I was totally mad at myself. How can a student like me get stage fright even though I was already exposed to many things? I look at others and I realize that I am not perfect in that area. I don't want to admit it at first but I am not perfect.
Talking about perfect, I wonder is there anybody in this world is perfect. Well, I used to hear those motivation words that everybody is not perfect. That is true but I think that there are people who satisfied with their life in all ways. When people get that feeling, I think that their life is 80% perfect. Besides that, I also think that when we accept our imperfection, that person will become perfect. Bottom line is I think there are people in this life perfect, in many ways of course. So, what that makes me? I believe that I have a lot more weakness that I need to overcome or at least, improve it to a better point and one of it is my stage fright. I want to study until the higher level and I believe that the confidence to talk in front of others is essential for that.
Marry? That is a very interesting subject to talk about. Today, a friend of mine, Firdaus, asked me whether I would like to marry someone one day. My answer was no. He asked me, why. I told him that marriage is not my thing and I'm not ready to talk or even think about getting marry to anyone at my current age. Firdaus replied by saying that I have to think about marriage now because when I grow up, I won't think about marriage anymore. I was freaking puzzled by his words. Why I do need to marry someone? In fact, what is the purpose of getting married anyway? From Firdaus's meaning of marriage is to get children to support you when you're old. Is that it? Well, I believe that Firdaus means more than that but really, is that it? Marriage for me is a sacred thing. I don't want to ruin the concept of marriage in my head which is to live with the person you love for the entire of your life in a concrete bond and create a lot of memories together. If I can, I want to marry to only one guy in my entire life and love him forever. That is why I am very careful about the idea of getting married. One tiny mistake in choosing your life partner can give a big impact in how you use to live. Seeing all the real marriage around me sometimes can scare me like hell. My sister had divorced once because she married at a very young age, 19 to be exact. My father used to cheat towards my mum while he's still married to her. My cousin's long waited husband died after only a few years married to her because of diabetes. My uncle married another woman with 5 kids even though he's married to my aunt and has 3 kids. My brother toyed with my ideal marriage and brought home a big-ass girl as my sister in-law and always be inside the same room, with the door closed with God-knows-what they did. These all assure to me that marriage is something that I need to put behind me first. I don't want to bother myself with something that can be avoided in the first place Even if I want to get married, I would like to pick the best Muslim as a husband because you have to admit that a good Muslim is so hard to find in this world. Plus, I am not a very good Muslim at first. Therefore I would like to find a guy that can teach me about Islam more. The more I think this way, the more I feel that this ideal guy of mine is impossible to find. I don't care about the appearance or the wealth that he owns but what I care more is the faith that he has to ALLAH. That is all I want. Someone to guide me as a good husband. Nothing more, nothing less. That is also why I stopped thinking about getting marry to someone. I don't want to get my hope so high and get crushed by my own ideal at the end of the day. To sum it all, NO, I don't want to get married YET. I don't know whether I will marry someone or not but surely it is not in the nearest future.
| One day... :) |
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