Memories
What have become of me? It was just like yesterday when I was in kindergarten. It was such a bittersweet memories. I remember it well when I had a colouring competition when I was six years old. I don't know why but that is one of the few memories that I had when I was at that young age.
It was 10 years ago. I remember it well. It was a competition to colour a bear in the wild. I coloured the bear's eyes with blue colour pencil. I got the tenth place in that competition because of that. My dad was there with me. I remember him and with his cigarette on the tip of his lips. He was a great idol for me at that time. He can act so familiar to me and cuddled me every time he got home and dried my hair after I got out from the shower.. But he's different now. I guess he completely changed from what he was when I was a six years old kid. I don't know when he started to change but I realized his changes when I started to grow up. The weird thing is he still acts the same with his six years old granddaughter like he did to me 10 years ago. I wonder if he would react the same to my niece as he did to me.
It brought me to a question. Why do people change? Why can't they be the same as they did in the past? Somehow, I miss my old dad. The one who always smile, talk smoothly, warm and kind to me. Then I heard old stories from my mum. The dad that I used to know in my past is not that great of a father. He did so many things, bad things, that make me think, 'is the father that I used to know in the past is all a part of his lies?'. He used to marry another woman once when he was still married to my mum and even had countless of affairs with god-knows-who. Is this the father that I once used to hold dear to my heart? I clearly don't want to blame him for anything but it does make me wonder if the father that I used to know still inside of him. Or is it just lies, just like what he does to my niece...
It was 10 years ago. I remember it well. It was a competition to colour a bear in the wild. I coloured the bear's eyes with blue colour pencil. I got the tenth place in that competition because of that. My dad was there with me. I remember him and with his cigarette on the tip of his lips. He was a great idol for me at that time. He can act so familiar to me and cuddled me every time he got home and dried my hair after I got out from the shower.. But he's different now. I guess he completely changed from what he was when I was a six years old kid. I don't know when he started to change but I realized his changes when I started to grow up. The weird thing is he still acts the same with his six years old granddaughter like he did to me 10 years ago. I wonder if he would react the same to my niece as he did to me.
It brought me to a question. Why do people change? Why can't they be the same as they did in the past? Somehow, I miss my old dad. The one who always smile, talk smoothly, warm and kind to me. Then I heard old stories from my mum. The dad that I used to know in my past is not that great of a father. He did so many things, bad things, that make me think, 'is the father that I used to know in the past is all a part of his lies?'. He used to marry another woman once when he was still married to my mum and even had countless of affairs with god-knows-who. Is this the father that I once used to hold dear to my heart? I clearly don't want to blame him for anything but it does make me wonder if the father that I used to know still inside of him. Or is it just lies, just like what he does to my niece...
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